You don’t have to feel alone

It’s horrible when you feel lonely, isn’t it?

One common description of loneliness is the feeling we get when our need for rewarding social contact and relationships is not met. We all recognise the gut-wrenching sensation, but what causes it is different for everyone.

Loneliness is not always the same as being alone. It depends on how you like to live your life. You may seek solitude and live happily without much contact with other people, while this could be awful for someone else.

Sometimes loneliness can be triggered by a life event such as the loss of a loved one, a relationship breakdown, or changing roles at work so we have to be with different colleagues. Or it could just be the time of the year. Holiday season and the Christmas period can be tricky for lots of people.

It’s not always obvious what makes us feel lonely though. Anyone at any age can be affected at any time – even busy people – whether we are flying solo or within a group, at work or at home with family. Loneliness, like confidence, can come and go, often taking us by surprise.*

Whatever the cause, few people choose to be lonely, primarily because it isn’t good for our physical or mental health.

Feeling lonely isn’t in itself a mental health problem, but the two are strongly linked. Having a mental health problem can increase your chance of feeling lonely and can lead us to shut ourselves away more. And feeling lonely can lead to mental health problems.

A survey by the Mental Health Foundation** found that 57% of adults in the UK who’ve experienced depression or anxiety said they had isolated themselves from friends and family. Whereas 42% of respondents have felt depressed because they felt alone.

One in three people who took the survey were embarrassed to admit to being lonely. But we don’t need to hide this feeling or suffer alone, there are lots of organisations set up to help us all combat loneliness.

Positive action to take

• Join a class or group based on your hobbies or interests. Or volunteer, as helping others is a great way to meet people and boost your mental health. Mind also has a list of useful contacts that will help you do both these things
• Spend time with animals. Some people find spending time with furry friends can help, either through owning a pet or spending time around animals in their natural environment. You could try visiting a local community or city farm – the organisation Social Farms and Gardens has a list of outdoor community projects across the UK, many of which have animals available to the public.
• Swot up on the dos and don’ts. The NHS has a list of things to try and avoid that can help you deal with loneliness, along with links to further advice and support.